Restaurant etiquette: why your complaints are probably unnecessary

I’ve been working in the restaurant business for almost two years now, and I’ve noticed a few things that really irk me. I’m currently a hostess and a carry out girl, and for some odd reason, people feel the need to complain to me about their food being cold or their service being slow or for any other inconvenience they might have experienced. Today I thought I would share with you some of my favorite complaints, and the responses that I kept held up inside. Keep in mind, these are actual quotes from actual people – even though they might seem absolutely ridiculous.

“Hi um, I’ve been here for about three minutes now, and my waiter still hasn’t come by, could you like, remind him that he has tables?” 

No way… really? He has tables? I bet he has absolutely no idea. Actually, your waiter probably has multiple tables that he’s currently attending to and he will most likely be there in just a couple more minutes. If he hasn’t shown up in ten, then come get me.

*Watches woman eat the avocado in her salad*
“Hi, miss, yeah could you come over here? There was no avocado on my salad, can you go get me some? Make sure your cook cuts a new one too, and make sure it’s really fresh.”

Okay, I know there was avocado on your salad and so do you. Also, the avocado that was on it was fresh. If you feel the need to have extremely specific ingredients, either bring your own or cook at home.

*Gives woman a medium well done steak instead of a medium*
“Hi, I ordered a medium steak, and this is obviously medium well, and honestly this is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” 

Well honey, if a medium well steak is the most disgusting thing you have ever seen in your entire life, it looks like you are pretty well off, so congrats, and maybe try going to an actual steakhouse if you’re looking for a grade A steak.

*Gives woman a turkey burger*
“This is not a turkey burger. It’s obvious that it’s not. Look at the pattern of the ground beef here, you can tell it’s beef, and this is absolutely disgusting. Take this back and fix it.” 

THIS IS A TURKEY BURGER! I don’t eat beef either okay, I feel your pain, but I can tell you 110% that this is a turkey burger so eat it and enjoy it and please, for the love of god, stop inspecting the pattern of ground beef.

me: “Hi! Welcome, how many? Three? Okay it’s going to be about a ten minute wait, I just have to clean off a table and wait for our kitchen to catch up a bit!”
customer: “Ok well it’d better not be long.”
*Five minutes go by*
customer: “Seriously? Is our table ready yet? This is absolutely ridiculous, what are you doing, you obviously have no idea.”
me: “I was just about to seat you actually, like i said, i had to wait for -”
customer: “I don’t want to hear it, you are absolutely awful, you don’t know how to do your job, I am never coming back here, you are absolutely horrible.”

OKAY. HERE WE GO. One, if you hate a restaurant, why would you go there and put yourself through that? Two, what makes you think that I’ll treat you better if you’re rude to me? Three, if i say ten minutes, you have absolutely no right to complain until that ten minutes is up. Four, I AM A PERSON. I am making minimum wage to walk you to a table, I am not making minimum wage to be talked to as if I am not a human being. I am not paid to be your servant or your punching bag. If you disrespect me I will refuse to treat you nicely because you do not deserve any sort of kindness.

Okay, rant over.

Hopefully after reading this, you’ll understand how unnecessary half of complaints are. We know when your food is taking a while, we know when you’re waiting on us, we know when your food is right or wrong. We are people too, please do not treat us like we aren’t. We are trying to make your meal enjoyable, so please, help make our jobs enjoyable too.