To my future daughter…

To my future daughter,

I want you to know that the world is beautiful.

It is here and nowhere else that butterflies are free to fly and elephants roam about.

The world is beautiful all around because it is here where you may always live in curiosity,

Because here you shall never be disappointed when you are striving to learn.

Little girl, the world is so beautiful,

Because it is here that flowers bloom every year and colorful leaves fall above you.

Baby girl, I hope you always see this beauty,

Because only here can you dance in the piazzas of Venice and stand in awe at the beauty of Paris.

My pretty girl, I will not lie, this world is not only filled with beauty.

It will hurt you, push you, kick you.

But this world is forgiving and this world is kind.

It will pick you up and encourage you to fly.

So, my beautiful girl, please listen to me now,

This world is yours to live in and yours to share.

Your beauty exists to mix with the butterflies and elephants and piazzas and create this amazing place.

To my future daughter, take what I have learned,

Dance in the rain and sing with the birds,

Because you are so beautiful and your world is too.

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PSA: You’re not gonna “catch the gay”

I go to a high school with over 6,000 students. This is great in the way that kids are able to make many new friends each year and there are hardly any of your classic “cliques”. It is not so great however, in the way that it gives room for many kids to feel pushed to the side, forgotten, or out of place. Until I became comfortable with myself and found my core group of friends, I was one of those kids, so I know what it’s like to feel as if you are just a walking body with no way to engage yourself.

It is my senior year now, so I have spent four years watching kids close themselves off from the world around them. I have found this to be especially true with students who have come out to be gay or transgender. As they gained courage to come out or went through the very difficult transition of publicly stating which gender they want to identify with, people around them quickly shut their eyes and walked away. Maybe it has something to do with my generation or the age of high school kids, but I simply don’t understand why so many people who are so close to me choose not to accept their peers. What are they doing that offends you? I’m aware that this argument is one that has been repeated too many times, but it is still extremely valid. If two girls are holding hands, does that somehow make you any less of a person for having seen them? Does it make you any less straight? Does it make you any less religious? In case you can’t answer those questions, I’ll do it for you. No. It does not do any of those things.

If someone has the courage to come out as gay, then there is absolutely no reason for someone else to ridicule him or her. Using the word “fag” in a derogatory way or treating him or her like he or she is not truly a man or a woman is the epitome of immaturity. If a boy decides that he is more comfortable as a girl, then you have two options: either stand by her and support her or pass by without saying anything. You have NO right to look down upon her or verbalize hatred towards her. With that, I don’t see why anyone would want to do so. How can someone else’s actions cause you so much anger that you feel the need to act aggressively towards them?

This rant was fueled by comments I heard today during class:

“He came out as gay?”
“Why would anyone wanna hang out with a fag?”
“I’ll beat my kid if he comes out as gay.”
“Is he going to start talking like a girl now and wear short shorts?”

I’m sure most of you can see the unbelievable amount of ignorance in these comments. Actually, I was so angry that these words actually came out of someone’s mouth that I got up and left the room. I feel bad for people like this. It is obvious that they have chosen a life of immaturity and stupidity. You do not have to support an act to accept it. All you have to do is end your negative comments.

If you have come out as gay or transgender or anything else and have a story to share, feel free to do so. I am open to listening and responding. I promise that you will have my unconditional support. If you read this post and realized that you may have been acting homophobic or transphobic or just plain mean, I suggest giving the person a simple apology. Sometimes that is all it takes to make up with someone.

I cannot stress enough how much equality is necessary in our world. We cannot achieve peace unless we all work together, so please, help me to help all the people around you and end the constant bullying. Speak words of love, not hate.

A poem: Infinite

what would you say if I told you I was infinite?
would you laugh at me and kiss my face,
or would you look into me deeply and understand
my soul
and how it yearns for you
and screams for you
and aches for you?
if I explained that it was your love
that allows my existence
would you put your arms
around my waist
or rather
around my throat?
and when I put my lips to your ear
and whisper my heart to you
will you take in my words
and let them swallow you whole,
consuming every part of you?
but also, when I ask you to watch
the sun go down
will you tell me to stay with you for the night
to watch it come back up again?
baby please, I’m begging you to tell me,
will you love me forever
and hold me tonight
and each and every night to come?
my dear, if you would, I will live forever,
because my infinity is you.

Borrowed lungs

I look upon big cities
and hear thundering trains
and I can feel soft snowflakes
falling upon my face

I watch lights flash on
filling the world with cheer
and I wonder what you would say
if you were still here

I loved hearing you speak
even after your voice was gone
and I loved how your face lit up
when we told stories until dawn

I remember when you saw your name in lights
and you continued to keep thanking me
but deep down I knew
the truth, you could clearly see

You were my inspiration
my starring piece
but I’d give back every recognition
to be able to extend your lease

That next pair of lungs was borrowed
as was so much more
but after that day
the fight was worse than before

Your eyes closed as I fought for my breath
and you slipped away into sweet, sweet death.

Book idea

So I’ve been thinking more and more about what I want to do with my life.

So I’ve been pretty stressed out lately.

I think that I want to go into journalism. I enjoy writing quite a bit and I could see myself doing it for years ahead. Which is good, because I’ve been told to do what I love, and I love writing stories. I have also been thinking about what the one big thing is that I want to do.

I’ve decided that is to write a book.

I have a few ideas, but this one really stuck out to me, so I figured I’d share it with you.

I travel quite a bit, so I get to experience many different types of people and cultures. I was thinking that it would be interesting to really dive into these cultures and learn what makes them different and similar from my own. I would interview random people from around the world and ask them one simple question: “What’s your story?”

I would collect these interviews and put them all together in a book. People would be able to read all about how a man became homeless, or how a couple met, or how a store had been in a family for over 100 years. These stories would show the similarities and dissimilarities between cultures. It would prove how we are all powerful and how the simplest of people can still inspire others. It would be beautiful!

I’d love to know people’s thoughts on this idea – I love feedback.

Also if you feel like venting or sharing, comment your own story. Like I said, even the simplest of people can inspire others.

Selfish

I am a selfish person
I enjoy security
I like to know my future,
What is coming up ahead of me.
I am reasonably scared
Of what time holds
Full of silent surprises
Which I am not ready for.
There are events hiding out
Waiting for me
My reactions forever quiet.
How will I handle myself?
The world may never know.
But all I need is stable ground
And life doesn’t work that way
Like everyone tells you
“Life is not fair”
It spins you and twirls you
Never asking for your hand.
I am a selfish person
I enjoy snowfall and hot tea
And I like having you close to me.

Shadows

She was haunted by shadows,

And no one understood,

The way they scared her,

The way she collapsed in fear.

They were relentless,

Slow moving creatures,

Whispering softly in her ear.

Why are you still here?

You shouldn’t be here.

You need to leave.

But she had nowhere to go.

So she ran, just far enough away.

The shadows couldn’t keep up,

Now she was alone.

Tears crawled down her sweet,

Soft, beautiful face.

Laying down, she began to dream.

Dreaming of a boy to take it all away,

Dreaming of a life that fear cannot be,

Wanting to know comfort.

If only she knew,

He was having the same dream.

They say one is meant for another,

While they were made for each other.

But so many problems,

So many fights,

They were so far apart,

Needing to be close.

Emotions flying high,

No solutions found,

They stay apart in their separate worlds.

If only they knew.

Shadows began coming back,

Each forming a memory.

He couldn’t stand the thought,

Couldn’t stand the sight.

She craved the idea,

Addicted to reminisce.

They were apart in their minds,

But the feeling never changed,

Needing one another,

Yet staying apart.

This could have a happy ending,

As many things do.

This could be a tragedy,

In order to cause tears.

The boy so undecided,

The girl so lost.

What is left,

But a only a thought.